Raw

The past few weeks are taking a toll. I feel numb and raw. I feel scared and afraid. But at least I am able to feel.

My own health scare had me convinced I had ovarian cancer and would not be around for much longer. The diagnosis of diverticulitis was a relief. I am adjusting and awaiting a procedure that should give a definitive on any other issues.

Then with my family – my dad specifically and his health/heart issues that were somewhat repaired/resolved. He is doing really well – walking more, breathing easier and a new cardiologist as well. I know he won’t “fall through the cracks” this with guy.

Then a trip away to a concert with one of our daughters – fun, laughter, not a care in the world only to have that world come crashing down.

Heart attack – not one but two. My love, my soulmate, my life partner, my everything. I am breathless, numb, in shock, stunned beyond words. I can’t think, it is all I can do to keep breathing. The tears leak down my cheeks. All I can do is sit beside him, waiting, wondering….not knowing what is next. Hoping and praying that he will be OK and stay a while longer by my side.

It’s a week later. Home, safe and recovering. It’s a wake up call for us. Modern medicine can do a lot. It can’t change your genetic make up however we can change what we can with diet, exercise and yes, medication. It’s OK – I’ll take it. We have the cardiologist we wanted. We will move forward together side by side. As a family who rallied together – by phone, text, email, we remained strong and together. We are NOT done yet. I give thanks to God – our outcome is a good one. I continue to breathe and be thankful. Each night I in bed, I say 3 things I am grateful for because I truly am.

Hug those you love, tell those you love because you never know what may happen when you turn your back.

 

“We have to fill our hearts with gratitude. Gratitude makes everything that we have more than enough.” Susan L. Taylor
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/susan_l_taylor_892507

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